Yes, I am a private person and seldom share my political views, happiness, or grief on social media, but this I must share…
I can’t sleep from the past couple of nights…no appetite either…tried distracting myself with work…nothing helps…my eyes are still swollen from the intermittent crying that was once regular when I got the news that my uncle passed away (due to his underlying asthma complicated by flu – suspected covid, no confirmed test). I grew up playing with him, we were all a part of a happy joint family till marriage and professional growth took us apart. He was kind, always with a smile and a joke to share, very gentle too, never heard him raise his voice. Meek yet cheerful. Someone who always did the right thing. Encouraging, always kept in touch. There’s not a moment when his face doesn’t flash in front of my eyes, not a moment when I realise that I am not going to see a text from him anymore. I can’t even begin to imagine what a void his absence has created in his immediate family.
You see he was barely 65, never smoked, never drank alcohol in his entire life, healthy weight, followed all immunity enhancing and safety protocols…yet he succumbed to the disease. He was receiving medication and care, he got better before he got worse. Medical negligence was involved too. Had it not been the Covid times, maybe he could have got to the ventilator sooner. His oxygen levels dropped, the pulse slowly diminished. Everyone has their version of the truth, and everyone has a unique way of expressing grief. The bottomline remains that we lost him. I am sure he must’ve dreamt of his kids getting married, and playing with his grandchildren. None of that is going to happen anymore. A lifetime of dreams taken away in a whiff. A person reduced to only memories.
His son couldn’t reach for the last rites from abroad as there are protocols he must follow before he can even get on a plane. All I want to do is be with my family now, hug my aunt, sister, and brother and let them know that I identify with their pain. But, I can’t. I can’t travel with my 3 years old kid, and I can’t leave him behind in the U.S. with just his dad. Our whole family is gutted, it feels like someone stabbed us and then tied our mouth so that we are unable to scream!
We have to be pragmatic, while bearing the heart wrenching pain of bereavement. Right now we are working on a containment plan, the immediate caretakers and ones who attended the last rites will be quarantining for the next couple of weeks. We’ll not have any grief gatherings either. I hope we are able to go through the process of healing with everyone else still safe. I seek your prayers for the well-being of my family.
Covid is real, and fatal. Please do not take it easy. Please follow social distancing and safety protocol very strictly. Gatherings, dining out, travelling and recreation can wait until humanity has a better grip over the virus. Do your bit to stop the spread – it’s a plea!
You cannot learn to live with the virus, it wont let you live!
I hope we heal from the loss someday!
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